Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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