Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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