you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
