did you get engaged???
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
