I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize