Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
