you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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