I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
