I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
