I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize