There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
