well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drunk is not a location!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
