it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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