You really coming over, don't trick.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
