Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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