I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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