ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize