reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
