so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
