As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize