News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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