My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize