What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
40s are totally the cure
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
