Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
