My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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