First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
