Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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