it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers