Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making