what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.