Sry I called you an 8
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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