i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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