yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's official drugs can't kill me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
