i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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