talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
pray to the hookup gods
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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