Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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