i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
