What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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