PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
