In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
