matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
