what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
