then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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