paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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