Dual....:-)
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
