is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
