Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
