I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I touched a dick in church today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
