I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize