i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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