That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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