He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
