Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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