Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
