hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
