he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
