Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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