told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize