dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
